Things I'll Never Say
by SpikesLilSlayer
Summary: Buffy and Spike; based on the song by Avril Lavigne, 'Things I'll Never Say'.


Author's Note: Just a short but sweet song fic. S/B, the usual.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own BTVS or the song "Things I'll never Say," by Avril Lavigne. I just like them.  
  
Things I'll Never Say  
  
~*~ Spike walked up to her locker, calming himself down. You can do it, Spikey. Just ask her out. You've done it tons of times before. What's so special about this one?  
  
She is special! His other half screamed. She's one in a million!  
  
"Hey Buffy, what're you doin' this Friday?"  
  
I'm tugging at my hair, I'm pulling at my clothes. I'm trying to keep my cool I know it shows. I'm staring at my feet, My cheeks are turning red. I'm searching for the words Inside my head.  
  
"Hey Buffy, why are you getting so prettied up? Going out with Spike tonight?"  
  
"Yup, that would be my boyfriend since high school." She fastened the clip on her dress, then spritzed on some perfume.  
  
"Why's he so special to you?"  
  
"He just is, Dawn." He just is; what are you talking about? He's the perfect guy! He's worth all this work.  
  
Ding dong.  
  
"He's here! Dawn, tell him I'll be right down, okay?"  
  
I'm feeling nervous, Trying to be so perfect. 'Cause I know you're worth it. You're worth this, yeah.  
  
The couple sat on a blanket on top of the large hill in Sunnydale.  
  
"It's so beautiful, Spike."  
  
"I know. Not as beautiful as you, though."  
  
She giggled, and then sighed happily. "Things just can't get any better than this."  
  
"Yes, they can." He held out a black velvet box and opened it, revealing a gold and diamond ring.  
  
Buffy gasped. "Oh my God, Spike."  
  
"Buffy, will you make me the happiest man in the world?"  
  
If I could say what I wanna say. I'd say I'd wanna blow you-away. Be with you every night, Am I squeezing you too tight? If I could say what I wanna say, I wanna see you go down on one knee. Marry me today. Yes, I'm wishing my life away- With these things I'll never say.  
  
Just say it, Buffy. 'Spike, I'm pregnant.' No, too forward. 'Spike, we're going be a family of three from now on.' No, no good. Too vague.  
  
"Buffy, you okay? You don't look that good." He said concernedly, hugging her gently. "Is something wrong?"  
  
"No, but I have to tell you something." This is it. Just keep your cool.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"We're going to have a baby."  
  
It don't do me any good It's just a waste of time. What use is it to you- What's on my mind. If it ain't coming out Or going anywhere Then why can't I just tell you That I care.  
  
"Come on, Lissa, you can do it! Come to daddy!"  
  
The one year old tried once again to get up, this time succeeding. She toddled a few steps before falling into her father's lap.  
  
"Yay! Buffy, did you get that?" he asked the proud mother with the video camera permanently attached to her hand.  
  
"Sure did. You did great, Lissa!" She went over and sat beside father and daughter, holding them both.  
  
Spike gazed at the beautiful woman beside him, drawing her gaze. "I love you."  
  
She smiled. "Love you too."  
  
I'm feeling nervous, Trying to be so perfect. 'Cause I know you're worth it. You're worth this, yeah.  
  
"Okay, Lissa time for your first day of school!"  
  
"Mommy, I don't wanna go! I wanna stay with you and Daddy!" The five year old ran upstairs, sending her small rainbow colored backpack tumbling.  
  
Buffy stamped her foot impatiently, putting her hands on her hips. "Alyssa Marie William, get your butt down here this instant!"  
  
"Mommy, please. What if the other kids tease me?" The small girl climbed back down the stairs, reluctantly.  
  
Buffy sighed. "Spike!" She turned back to her daughter. "They won't tease you, honey. See, Daddy's coming with you to school. He'll make sure your day is perfect. How's that?"  
  
"Oh, mommy, do I have to?"  
  
"Yes, Spike, you have to!"  
  
Alyssa squealed with delight as her father came up and grabbed her, swinging her through the air. "Okay. I'll go, I'll go!"  
  
If I could say what I wanna say. I'd say I wanna blow you away Be with you every night, Am I squeezing you too tight? If I could say what I wanna say, I wanna see you go down on one knee. Marry me today. Yes, I'm wishing my life away- With these things I'll never say.  
  
"Lissa, I'm so proud of you."  
  
"Me too, honey. Congratulations."  
  
"Thanks Dad, Mom. Is it okay if I hang out with some friends tonight at the Bronze, being a newly graduated high-schooler now. Please?"  
  
He exchanged a glance with his wife. "Well."  
  
"Will there be boys there?"  
  
Lissa rolled her eyes. "No, mom, it's a nun club."  
  
"Well, I don't see why not."  
  
"Thanks so much, daddy!" She pecked him on the cheek, then ran off to join her friends.  
  
"She's growing up too fast. Make it stop." The couple walked out the auditorium doors.  
  
Buffy sighed. "Oh, Spike, shut it. She just graduated from high school. Remember what we were like at her age?"  
  
He laughed, remembering old times, then stopped. "We've got to go get her!" He turned, running after his daughter, Buffy running after him.  
  
What's wrong With my tongue These words keep slipping away I stutter, I stumble- Like I've got nothing to say.  
  
I'm feeling nervous, Trying to be so perfect. 'Cause I know you're worth it. You're worth this, yeah.  
  
Buffy murmured contentedly as Spike traced small circles on her arm as they lay in front of the fireplace. "See now, isn't this nice, honey?"  
  
Spike harrumphed, crossing his arms on his chest. "It would be nicer if I knew my baby girl was home safe instead of running around with some boy."  
  
She slipped her arms around him, kissing his cheek, and forcing him to relax. "He's not just any boy to her. He's her boyfriend. And who knows, maybe one day your son-in-law."  
  
He tensed again.  
  
"Oh, stop. Deal with it. Come on, think of the positives. Roaring fire, darkness. Plus, we're all alone in the hou-ouse." She said sing-songingly, and very suggestively.  
  
He grinned wickedly. "You're right. Positives are good." He pulled the blanket over their laying bodies, Buffy giggling maniacally.  
  
If I could say what I wanna say. I'd say I wanna blow you away. Be with you every night, Am I squeezing you too tight? If I could say what I wanna say, I wanna see you go down on one knee. Marry me today. Yes, I'm wishing my life away- With these things I'll never say.  
  
Buffy and Spike lay in bed Sunday morning. She sighed contentedly.  
  
"Life is good."  
  
"You bet it is. And do you know what the best part is?"  
  
She smiled, shaking her head and cuddling closer to him. "Tell me."  
  
"Being with you." He turned his head to face her. "I love you, Buffy."  
  
"I love you too, Spike."  
  
Yes, I'm wishing my life away- With these things I'll never say. 


End file.
